<< BACK TO RS001 LOG 57/13/FD3A 2:30 "Uh." I mumbled, as I started feeling unlike myself, again. This feeling creeps up on me, quite frequently nowadays. I was always under the assumption that I could live alone, anywhere, as long as I was aware of what I do and what I shouldn't do. Even though I don't follow what I just said in the previous sentence, I had a good amount of faith in it. It didn't give me any satisfying result for a few days now. Its been more than a 'millenia' (according to the time-sense of 'the humans of the old') since I left that homely blue lil' planet, which I give the least amount of damn out of all other unnecessary events I reminiscence. But I still remember few thoughts of my teenage years which based my attitude. One of which is 'a lass is pretty hard to please'. Having a bad experience with girls, I ran out of my house when I was said I had been engaged to a daughter of some rich family(?). I sprinted my way to a government-funded teleporter, yeeted myself to 'The Great Human Explorer' space program institute, registered myself for a solo-ship and naming it 'stygian', and spending quite a bit of my pocket-money in order to bribe the officials, to have my ship manufatured under foremost priority so that I could leave as early as possible. I stayed in a tiny motel for a few days 'til I received the message that I could fly to space. I rushed to the Miru Space Station, boarded my 'stygian' and had a smooth takeoff. As I floated up in space, crossing pass the satellite which had kind of (atleast visually) trapped the lil' blue planet, I felt free. I had no one nor anything that I missed in there. Families had become very smaller during that time, unlike the previous century of that time, when nuclear families were prominent. During my teenage years, only couples and their children till they reach 16 existed. After reaching 16, parents were legally liberated from their duties of babysitting and teens had also made to know that they ought to not depend on their parents henceforth, which wasn't a surprise to them (or us) as we were brought up being taught of it. Any family drama or emotions of the very old had become non-existent during that time (history says so, I frigging have no clue if the ancients had made their kids indulge in familial love or whatever bullshit in that blue planet). I just felt a bit sorry for the lil' lady who was to have me as her fiance. Quite unlucky she was. But I had a satisfying letter written for my family and my has-been-for-a-short-time fiance, regarding my departure. My parent's wouldn't have cared, but I was happy that I atleast gave an explanation. With that, I also had decided to stay alone and not find a mate. It was fine for a very long time. But now, it seems like its not possible. I think that my humanly instincts have started to kick in. I feel like missing something- a comfort, a safe-haven, a person to confide, a person to have my arms looped around their waist, a person to hug and a person to kiss. Maybe I'm reminiscing a bit too much or whatever. But the feeling have intensified quite a bit. I have to find a way to suppress it. "Oof."