<< BACK TO RELAY ONE LOG


Well, to be frank, everything was screwed.

The main computer is fried. We have no idea what did it in, it was
working fine up into the weird mass disappeared. But as you can
see, the fact that this message is being sent means that we fixed
it, somehow.

I'm handing over to the Chief Technician now to explain what
happened.

~ Captain

=================================================

Wow! My first time using QEC, I'm so excited! I was so annoyed at
Captain for not letting me use it, he insisted that I was not
allowed to use it withou express permission, but since I am a
honest and sincere person, I kept my word not to use it.

I went of on a tangent, didn't I, I do that a lot. I must make a
note to ensure I don't do that anymore. Hold on just a minute....

Ok, I'm good now, I can actually start my recount. It was the
weirdest thing I'd ever done. The Most Hacky Solution.

=================================================

I was going around, repairing each of the sub-computers, that
single-task, each performing a specific tasks. All of these
sub-computers are linked in a network to the main computer. Once I
finally finished all of the sub-computers, I turned my attention
to the most difficult job - repairing the main computer.

Some of the circuitry in the main computer is beyond even my
abilities, and if I do say so myself, I think that I am pretty
well learned and know what I am doing with stuff.

Anyway, I looked at it, and on first glance I could tell it was
fried. The QPU (Quantum Processing Unit), top end of the range,
256 qubits, was cracked. No salvaging that. The motherboard's
connectors were blackened. It was the strangest thing I have seen
in my 30 years of working with ship computers.

I turned my attention to finding a cold spare, if they had one
and exploring the possibility of using one of the sub-computers
as the main computer.

Alas, each of the sub-computers did not have the functionality
required to be used as the main computer. The main computer
requires multitasking functionality, which all of the
sub-computers did not have.

This ship was built in the little space of time - the period known
as the 'Singletasking Revolution'. This got quickly shot down by
experts, but the gist was that most computers should only do one
task and they are all controlled by one multitasking computer.

In the meantime, my assistants were looking for a cold spare, if
it even existed. They looked through every corner of the ship.
There wasn't one.

I asked, "Are there ANY other multitasking computers on the ship?"

I was met with no's all around, except for one junior assistant.

"Sir?" he said meekly. "There is that relic of a computer? We have
no information about it. Maybe we could look at that?"

To start, I dismissed him with a flick of my hand. What a dumb
idea, I thought. It would never work.

However, one of my most senior assistants told me that she
thought the idea may have some merit and it may be worth
exploring. If it was anyone else, I would have likely said no way
and put them on some boring duty, but since I secretly have a huge
crush on her (oh no I really hope she dosen't see this), I decided
to go ahead.

For many days and nights I tried to figure out this computer. Here
is the information I have gathered:

- Operating System: Ubuntu 18.04. It seems to be an ancestor of
  our far superior Linux computers, it runs a kernel named 'Linux' 
  and some parts of the codebase look familiar.
- QPU: none. there is a CPU however, a Central Processing Unit,
  made using the Earth material silicon.
- RAM: 8 Gigabytes. Are you serious? Our main computer had a
  Terabyte of RAM!
- Drive: It's not even a solid state drive. It's a frickin
  mechanical hard drive. It has frickin moving parts. It's tiny
  too, only 1 Terabyte! WTF

Ok, now that you've seen those APPALING specifcations, now I can
launch into how in the world we connected it up to the system.

This was very easy, and a stroke of luck. Some of you vetran
adminstrators might remember USB-C? Well this computer had it.
Luckily we had a USB-C to USB-X adaptor lying around, so it was
pretty easy to connect it up to the system.

However, software was a completely different matter. We needed to
write custom software for it. Many of the junior adminstrators
had never even heard of C or C++, so we had to teach them C++.
Of course I remembered it as well as I remember my own face.
Too easy for me!

After hard work and perspiration, we finally had hacky code
working with all the other computers. It took us ages, and it
probably saved our lives, but I still don't get enough credit for
it----

=================================================

I cut him off. As you can see, he is a spolit idiot. But he did
save our lives so I'll let him have it this one time.

But anyway, good to be back, and I hope to see one of you soon
so we can get that main computer crap repaired.

Signing off,

Captain.