<< BACK TO RS001 LOG Message Incoming... Source Melchizedek.0294 β Hyi, 3rd Planet Ascension 00h 25m 45.07037s Declination –77° 15′ 15.2860″ Distance 24.37ly Equinox J2000.0 SOL Year 3782, QEC adjusted [Autotranslator enabled...] Eva Hämäläinen, Navigator ::: When I was a girl I had a small horse, Sunna. She was a pony's size, but she was a horse, mind you. She didn't like it when Mamma called her a pony. Sunna liked to be messy. I would brush her for hours, use the hose and get every bit of grime away. I'd clean her hooves or change her shoes. Then she would go straight to the mud. It happened every time. You'd think I would learn a lesson there. Momma would ask, "why do you clean that pony?" And I would say to her, "Sunna is a horse, Momma. She likes to be cleaned, but she likes to be messy too." And then I would go out to her and do it again. If the day were dry and there was no mud Sunna would roll in the dirt and lie there looking at me with eyes like wells. She would lie there and just watch me until I turned that hose on and made her mud. Then she would roll and make sweet sounds. When Stephanie came to me after she read the report of the captain's shuttle her eyes were wells. I had no hose, so I gave her my tears and together we rolled in the mud and made sweet sounds. It was a line I thought not to cross with an NCO despite what I knew we both felt. Our mission. I know this in my mind, but my heart is soft for those I love. I will wash the horse that will roll in the mud because I can't deny her. I cannot deny this love either. I wish it were joy that broke my oath and not grief. But Jerome would tell me, "If wishes were horses." I don't know what it means, except that it makes me think of Sunna more and that gives me solace. The right thing is not always what you expect. Inside, though, you can feel it. Does this thing bring you closer to God? Does this act bring your life? God can work through grief as well as joy. He can work through a messy horse and he can certainly work through an extraordinary creature such as my Stephanie. I will submit myself for disciplinary action. It is also right. The rules were broken and I will not deny that. The Serif will do what she must, and I will be who I must. There can be no denying of self. This is a tenet. .